By Anthony's mom, Gina
Aug 29, 1984 - Jun 18, 2018
Anthony was so much fun he would make us belly laugh. He was a beautiful person inside and out. He loved so deeply. When he was small, a bird crashed into our home and died and Anthony ran out to see the bird and placed a napkin over the bird body. Another story is when he found his rabbit not breathing, he quickly opened his rabbit mouth and started to breathe into his rabbit mouth.
Anthony started using opioids when he was 22. He was sent to his first rehab. That was the beginning of the end. He spent his young adult life in rehab and it never helped him become a better addict. His disease kept processing. He really tried at the end but his power of choice was gone. He went from a loving person to a monster and then when he was sober he could not get over the damage he caused his loved ones. He wrote a poem toward the end of his life that I would like to share.
Somethings are meant to be.
So take my hand and follow me down the rabbit hole and cowboy up for one crazy ass hell ride.
Life is still. Yet the world is passing me by at a mile a minute, I have a bad disease, a virus, a sadistic worm, that slithered its way into my head and worked its way through every cell in my body.
And it’s over now, the power of choice is gone. It has shattered and has been swept away and mixed in with all the souls of the lost but not forgotten.
Now I am forced to load the imaginary gun which is in my mind, with the bullets that I sweat, with panic and terror of each and every single day.
My life has become utterly reckless and unpredictable, like a blind man with a chainsaw.
I have left imprints of sad tragic mud that I have bled for this life that can only be washed away with the tears of the loved ones I cause to shed.
I will let you down, I will make you cry, and as a very talented man has said, I will make you hurt…
I still go to Nar-Anon support groups and I do a workshop on the 12 steps for the families that suffer with a loved one in addition. Giving back and helping people gives me the strength to go on without Anthony. I always talk to him and tell him I know his suffering is no more and how there is not a day that goes by that I don't think and miss my baby boy.